


Uneventful night

by rzoet



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen, Slice of Life, Teikou Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rzoet/pseuds/rzoet
Summary: Atsushi can feel something is in the process of going very wrong, but doesn't know what to do about it. So instead he goes home, eats, showers, sleeps and presses repeat.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As the title suggests, there isn't much going on here, just a typical night for Atsushi some time after the shift in Seijuurou. I guess you could call it character analysis. I'd also like to point out that for this fic I assumed the shift in Seijuurou's personality happened sometimes during the middle of their third year in middle school. I don't know if that is actually the case. 
> 
> I tried to include this info in the fic, but in case it's not clear and you get confused, here are the Murasakibara siblings:
> 
> Kenta: the oldest brother, he's 20 and goes to university to study law.
> 
> Hiroko: the only sister, and Daichi's twin. She's 19 and studies to become a veterinarian, while working part time at an animal shelter. 
> 
> Daichi: the second oldest brother and Hiroko's twin. He's also 19 and works part time at a flower shop and a restaurant to fund his studies to become a book illustrator, as his parents refuse to finance that sort of study.
> 
> Susumu: the third brother and the closest to Atsushi's age. He's 16 and goes to a high school in Tokyo. His parents know very little of his motivation and activities.
> 
> Atsushi: in this fic, he turned 14 a few months ago.

It was dark outside. A thick layer of dark clouds blanketed the skies, blocking out the last few rays of sun for the day. Soon it would rain, or maybe snow, if the temperature allowed it. Atsushi didn't really care either way, the prospect of walking home under any kind of precipitation far from thrilling. He could've gone home earlier, school having released him a good two hours ago, but his parents would have scolded him. "Why weren't you at practice? Were you skipping? Did you get kicked off the team?" All questions he would much rather avoid. So instead, with his new found free time, he had decided to wander through the busier streets in Teikou's neighborhood, where he was sure to find many snack shops. Maybe he liked the crowded area, too. For the last few weeks, he hadn't had the chance to interact with many of his old friends, nor had he had the energy to, and walking through the city meant seeing people, and for a little while, it helped not feeling so... lonely.

He put an halt to the thought before it could form properly. He didn't like crowded areas, never had. All those people walking so slowly and getting in his way, loud, sometimes smelly, this was really not his scene. He only put up with it so he could get to the best sweet shops, that was all. He wasn't lonely. He was never lonely. He didn't even really like anyone to begin with. He didn't need anyone, and thinking he did was plain stupid.

Still, having noticed the heavy clouds and the bad weather that was to come, most people had already hurried home and the streets looked deserted compared to an hour ago. Reaching in his bag, Atsushi felt his mood sink further when he realized he hadn't brought an umbrella. Or had he left it at school? He had been in such a hurry to leave, avoiding his basketball teammates like the plague, and the sun had been shining, it was possible he had just forgotten to take it. It didn't really matter anymore, and now he really wished it was going to snow instead of rain. Digging his gloved hands deep into his pockets, nose buried in his soft scarf, he lengthened his stride and braved the harsh winds. Despite his many layers of protective and warm clothes, he could feel the cold creeping in, his eyes water and his nose become runny. _Gross_. 

He knew the area by heart now and walked home on autopilot. If he was being honest, this was becoming sort of boring. When he been allowed to skip practice, an event still fresh in his mind, he had thought he would be happy, or at least feel some sort of positive emotion - but nothing. He hadn't really thought this through. Yes, he had more time and his lazy nature appreciated not having to put up with the training, but he was stuck. A few times a week, he had to entertain himself for two hours after school, and there was so much he could do. Going snack shopping in the same place had become a repetitive task, not nearly as fulfilling as it used to be. Nothing really was anymore. He could've gone back to practice, after all he wasn't banned and he knew Shintarou and Tetsuya still went, along with Ryouta from time to time - but he had been the one asking to leave, and he couldn't bring himself to face them. Besides, Seijuurou would be here, and he really didn't want to see him. Things had changed, and until they magically went back to normal, he was going to stay out of it. 

That, of course, was much more than he was ever going to admit, even to himself. Him? Missing _practice_? Hah! Fat chance. He wasn't like all these hard working idiots, he didn't even _like_ basketball to begin with. He only played because he was good at it, because he could put his height and strength to good use, but overall he was happy he didn't have to put up with it more than necessary. 

Snow started falling just as he reached his block. With a grunt, he began jogging to his house, feeling the half molten flakes clinging to his hair and coat. It was February already, and while some areas of Japan had snow well into April, Tokyo created so much heat the snow could barely hold. Atsushi hated this part of the year the most. The weather was cold, wet, and the ground was slippery from frozen fudged snow. 

The heat of his house hit him much strongly than he had anticipated. The lights were almost blinding too, in contrast to the darkness outside. He rushed in and closed the door, mumbling a "I'm home" as he removed both dirty shoes and coat. His mother was here withing seconds, frowning when she saw her son's appearance. She was wearing a wool vest that would've looked ridiculous on anyone, and yet, combined with her hair neatly held up and her serious expression, she somehow looked dignified. Unfortunately, not of her children had inherited her natural grace.

\- Atsushi, why is your hair wet? Didn't you bring an umbrella?, she hardheartedly scolded, worry piercing in her voice. Her youngest son had always been more sensible to the cold. 

\- I forgot it at school, Atsushi mumbled, putting away his scarf, gloves and ear muffles. His mother sighed. She exited the entrance for a bit, and Atsushi took it as his chance to step into the living room. It was empty, but he spotted an open book and a steaming cup of tea on the table, probably his mother's. While he looked around, suddenly feeling lost, his mother came back and threw a towel at him.

\- Here, dry your hair, she ordered, heading to the kitchen. I put a hot bath to run for you. I'll make you some tea.

Atsushi grimaced. He didn't like tea, it tasted bitter and his mother never put enough sugar in it. 

\- I don't want tea, he whined. Can you make hot chocolate?

\- Atsushi, we're going to eat in less than two hours. Now is not the time for hot chocolate.

Furiously drying his hair, Atsushi stepped into the doorway of the kitchen. His mother had put the water to heat already, and wearing an apron, she was gathering the ingredients to start dinner. Usually, Atsushi had more fight in him, but he suddenly felt very, very tired. He couldn't find the strength to argue.

\- Please, he asked meekly. His mother turned around and was seemingly surprised by his appearance. His lack of combativeness must've been showing. She hesitated for a few seconds, her eyes going from the clock to her ingredients and back to her son, before surrendering. 

\- Fine. Go check on the bath, I'll make you hot chocolate. But this is an exception, she added with a frown.

Atsushi gave her a tired smile and nodded before exiting the kitchen. He wasn't too sure of what was happening to him. He had just been so tired lately, not so much physically, especially now that he didn't train anymore, but a new kind of tired he had rarely experienced before. Simple obstacles, like his mother refusing to make hot chocolate, seemed huge and impossible to overcome. Arguing was exhausting and he found himself growing more silent than he already was, talking more draining than it had ever been, merely _thinking_ now a taxing process. He was so, _so_ tired. 

He got to the bath just in time to stop it from overflowing. Knowing he wasn't allowed to eat in the bathroom, he downed a few snacks before undressing and stepping into the room. While quickly showering, he noticed the redness of his thighs, which had only been protected from the wind by the pants from his school uniform, which, he had to admit, were made of a rather thin fabric, inadequate for such weather. His nose was stuffed, he noticed while harshly scrubbing his body clean. Great. At least if he came down sick he maybe skip school for a few days and stay in bed, a strangely attractive proposition. That way, he wouldn't have to deal with his stupid English assignment he had yet to start, he wouldn't have to see Ryouta's face in class, and he wouldn't have to risk seeing Seijuurou, or any of his teammates really, in the hallways. If he stayed home he could ignore all of this for a little bit and _maybe_ everything will have worked out when he got back, and it would be like waking up from a bad dream. 

Atsushi shook his head and went back to rinsing his body quickly. This too had been happening a lot; his mind would just wander and he would have to force it back into reality. It had caused him to be called out in class much more often than before, and he had gotten lost in the city quite a few times too. It left him feeling disoriented and uncomfortable. Needless to say, he didn't like it one bit.

A little unstable on his feet, he wobbled over to the bath and sunk into it. Despite the time he had taken to clean himself, it was still really hot, but he didn't have the heart to ease himself into it and endured the burn for a minute. Soon he went limp into the hot water and closed his eyes, resting his head back. The room smelled nice. His mother had probably put one of her products into the bath to make it smell like flowers. Though the smell was strong, Atsushi didn't mind it much and felt himself drifting away. It wouldn't be much of a problem if he fell asleep, knowing his mother would come wake him up when his hot chocolate was ready. Hmmm, hot chocolate. With all the snacks he had bought before coming home, there had to be some that would make nice hot chocolate dips. A spongy, sweet one that would absorb the chocolate...

He smiled contently. Even if everything felt off, at least his snacks never betrayed him. There were his anchor while everything was changing and moving too fast for his liking. Snacks didn't turn their backs on you. Snacks were the real friends. 

Ok, maybe he was starting to be a little sick after all. Great. That way, he wouldn't have to fake a cough or a fever. To hell with the English assignment due in two days. He had enough food provisions in his room to last him that long and he wouldn't have to give himself away by eating too much for a sick person. 

A loud knock on the door forced him out of his reverie, startling him.

\- Atsushi, mom said to call you, a feminine voice called. It was his sister. He hadn't been sure she was home, but now he knew.

Not bothering to reply, knowing Hiroko had already gone back to her room, Atsushi hurried out of the bath and wrapped himself in his bathrobe. He grabbed his scattered clothes and went to his room, throwing the uniform on the floor while quickly putting on dry and warm clothed. That, and a special set of warm furry slippers he left in his room, lest one of his family members stepped on them with their dirty outside shoes when coming home. When walking through the living room, he noticed his mother had left his cup of hot chocolate on the table. It was to be expected; she didn't like it when her clumsy children stepped into the kitchen while she was cooking. 

The living room was still empty, Atsushi noted, and it left a weird feeling in his chest. You'd think that in a family of seven, the house would always feel busy, and while that had been true when the children were younger, now it was much more quiet. His mother stayed home most of the time, but his father had to go to work and stayed there rather late. His older brother, Kenta, was always out studying at the library or handing out with his friends. Hiroko was also busy with her studies, and while she wasn't, she had to work at the animal shelter. Daichi had to balance between two jobs and was rarely home. No one really knew what Susumu did outside of school, considering he was neither the studious nor the social type, but not to long ago he had let slip that he was working as a mover in a conversation with Atsushi and Hiroko. At his age it was far from legal, but like all the Murasakibara kids, Susumu was tall and, above all, strong. Considering his secretive nature and lack of obvious interests, it hadn't really come as much of a surprise.

Atsushi picked the cup up and made his way to his room. There was no point in staying in the living room if it was devoid of life. Maybe he should follow in Susumu's footsteps. All his siblings worked, but all of them had graduated from highschool already, unlike Susumu and himself. Kenta, Hiroko and Daichi all seemed so sure of what they wanted to do - Daichi even had to work to entirely finance his studies, as his parents disapproved of his choice, and yet he hadn't given up. He had an obvious talent too, and whenever he shared showed his drawings to the rest of his siblings, Atsushi was blown away. His own artistic skills stopped at doodling stick fingers in his notebooks. Atsushi had an obvious talent too, his basketball skills surpassing almost all his peers, and he had thought about making it his profession, but it didn't seem worth it anymore. It felt like such a core, such a strain, all his games so boring he couldn't muster any energy to put in his play; was he really ready to live like this? If he was to make a living, he wouldn't be allowed to slack off either, despite his genius. Such a bother. Then again, he didn't feel like he had much of a choice. Everyone was so sure he would go pro, maybe he just should. He didn't have the strength to think of anything else, so it was better if people chose for him. 

He blinked and realized he had been staring into space again, the cup of hot chocolate growing cold in his hands. Frowning, he reached into the grocery bag he had discarded on the bedroom floor, pulling out a couple of chocolate chips muffins and a set of chocolate umaitama. He dipped pieces of the muffins in the hot chocolate, noticing the thick texture of the beverage, and quickly gulped them down. He was done with the muffins in a minute, swallowing the rest of the hot chocolate while munching on the umaitama. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until now. Hopefully his mother had cooked something good. 

Using his empty cup as an excuse, Atsushi made his way to kitchen, eager to check on the dinner preparation. Before he would make it however, the front door slammed open and a man walked it. It took a few seconds for Atsushi to identify Kenta. His brother was humming something and didn't seem to have noticed him, so Atsushi simply stood, staring blankly. Kenta finally turned around.

\- Oh, Atsushi! Didn't see you there!, Kenta said with a smile. His voice was loud. Actually, everything about him was always loud. It was a bit tiring.

\- Hi, Atsushi mumbled. He didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to see someone.

\- How was school?, Kenta asked, undressing. 

\- Eh, okay, I guess.

Kenta looked at him from the corner of his eyes.

\- Damn, you look like shit. What happened to you?

\- Aaah, so mean, I'm hurt.~

\- Like hell you are, Kenta laughed. But seriously, you got huge bags under your eyes and your nose is stuffed. Now's not the time to get sick.

Atsushi shrugged.

\- How was practice then?, Kenta continued.

\- Easy, like always~, Atsushi lied easily. It had become his default response, and he knew no one paid enough attention to notice. 

\- Good, good. Say, is Hiroko home? I need to talk to her.

Atsushi felt his insides twist, but couldn't explain why.

\- In her room, he mumbled, adverting his eyes.

\- Thanks!, Kenta said, ruffling Atsushi's hair roughly when passing him. Atsushi groaned but didn't say anything. He had recently grown taller than Kenta, but that wasn't enough to stop the other from touching his hair. Or, well, any of his siblings for that matter. 

Atsushi looked around him. What was he doing here again? Oh, right, the empty cup. He realized seeing what was for dinner didn't interest him anymore, and he slowly made his way back to his room. What should he do now? The English assignment was still here, at the back of his mind, but his entire being was working against him and telling him not to do it. Maybe he should watch a movie. Or re-read one of his favorite manga. Neither of these things appealed to him, but he couldn't spend the rest of the evening doing nothing either. He grabbed a random volume on his shelf and flopped on his bed, setting his eyes on the first page, his mind already elsewhere. 

What did he used to do when he came home from practice? He knew he was never that bored before, but his memory was fuzzy, confusing, and he couldn't seem to remember what drove him. Everything seemed more entertaining at the time, but now everything was so dull, and he was content with staring the ceiling for hours on end, letting time fly by. He didn't like it. He didn't like the way he felt, about anything, but mostly he was frustrated at how powerless he was to do anything. He refused to acknowledge it was his fault everything was like this. He had been happy, or at least okay; and then everything went bad. His old captain, Shuuzou, had resigned. Seijuurou had stepped up. Daiki had stopped caring. Shougo had quit. And Atsushi, not liking the way things were going, had challenged his new captain, his friend, because he wanted out of this hell. And then Seijuurou had changed, all because of him, and no one was helping, no one was doing _anything_ , everything got worse, and he started seeing his teammates, he stopped going to the store with Tetsuya, he stopped hanging out with Seijuurou and Shintarou during his breaks, he stopped discussing homework with Ryouta, and to him they stopped being friends - though he had never used the word before - and they became bothers. And he felt so powerless, as if there was anything he could've done, and do _weak_ , frustratingly so. But no, it wasn't his fault, it was Shuuzou's fault for resigning. It didn't matter that his father was sick, in the hospital, it was still Shuuzou's fault, and Seijuurou's fault too for becoming this new person, and Daiki's fault because he left, and it was all their fault, because _they_ should've done something, not _him_.

He strong feeling of uneasiness grew into his chest. Well, it felt like that feeling never left anymore, but sometimes he could ignore it, while other time it got so strong and made him feel like he was choking. He hated it. That was the reason he didn't think about school anymore. It had created this weird, unpleasant and unknown sensation he didn't want to deal with.

His mother called for dinner. He closed the manga, though he had only read the first page, went to wash his hands and dragged himself to the table.

\- Wow, Kenta was right, you really do look awful, Hiroko teased as she sat down. Atsushi rolled his eyes at her, and Hiroko rolled them right back, imitating him.

\- By the way mom, Daichi said he was going to be late and not to wait for him, Hiroko informed. 

Her mother frowned but kept quiet. After all, it was because of her husband and her that Daichi had to work so much. They were still waiting on him to change his mind and give up. While Kenta finished setting the table, Susumu slipped in the sit next to Atsushi. He was unreadable as always, his violet eyes holding uncharacteristic maturity for his age. Soon everyone was sat and digging into the various dishes. To outsiders, the amount of food would've seemed intimidating, but the Murasakibara family had quite the appetite. Hiroko and Kenta started talking about their day, while Atsushi's mothers interjected from time to time, leaving her two oldest to keep the conversation going. As hard as he tried, Atsushi tuned out in a few minutes, mechanically placing food on his plate before gulping it down. He suddenly had the urge to go back to his room and lie down in peace and quiet. 

He felt a jab in his sides and jolted up, turning to Susumu. His brother was staring at him, an eyebrow crooked up questionably. The rest of the family was passionately debating and not really paying attention to either of them.

\- What?, Atsushi asked quietly, in a harsher tone than he wanted. 

Remaining silent, Susumu pointed to Atsushi's plate. The rice was scattered everywhere, there was no trace of the sauce he loved so much, and he had poked multiple holes in one of his tempura with his sticks. Maybe he hadn't been eating as easily as he had thought. Not knowing what to say, he simply stared at the food. Susumu shook his head and traded his unharmed tempura with Atsushi's and passed him the sauce. Atsushi thanks him sheepishly and rearranged his plate. 

The rest of the dinner passed by without Atsushi even realizing it. It was Hiroko's turn to clean the table and do the dishes, allowing Atsushi to make a swift escape to his room. With a sigh, he dropped on his bed and picked up the manga again, but he was even less focused. He grabbed a snack and chewed, but the taste seemed bland too, and he felt anger rise in him. Maybe he should do his homework. He had done the calculus already, but this damn English assignment was still here, no matter how much he tried to will it away. Digging in his school bag, he found the related paper, reading it again for the hundredth time. All it said was to write a short presentation of yourself in English. Included nationality, family, friends, hobbies and plans for the future. Writing in English was already a pain, but it was even harder when the assignment forced him to think about things he didn't want to think about. Maybe he should just start with what he did know. 

_My name is Murasakibara Atsushi._

Or was it "Atsushi Murasakibara"? He knew westerners wrote their given name first, but he wasn't sure which way he was supposed to write. Oh well, "Murasakibara Atsushi" was already on paper, so he would stick with that. 

 _My name is Murasakibara Atsushi. I am Japanese. I am 14 -_ Wait, his teacher said to write numbers.

_My name is Murasakibara Atsushi. I am Japanese. I am ~~14~~ fourteen years old._

There, not so hard. If he stuck to simple sentences, he could probably finish this easily. To hell with the word count. 

_My name is Murasakibara Atsushi. I am Japanese. I am ~~14~~ fourteen years old. I have a mother, a father, three older brothers Kenta, Daichi and Susumu, and one older sister Hiroko._

Okay, that was out of the way, but what now? Right. Hobbies.

 _I like eating and I like sleeping. My favorite snack is Nerunerunerune._ Hopefully he had romanized that correctly.

_I play basketball. I'm the best at it._

There was no way he was writing he liked it. But that wasn't enough, he had barely written anything.

_I like arcade games. I also am really goot at it. I like festivals because of the food and the games. I always win._

He stared at the page a few minutes, his mind going blank. There had to be more to him. Why was it so hard to say who he was?

 _I like watching movies. I like going to the cinema. I like reading manga_. Then again, everyone did. He furrowed his brows. He didn't like that this was so unnecessarily difficult. He could easily write a page or two about any of his siblings, so why not himself?

_I don't have any pets, but I like cats. My father is allergic. My sister works in a shelter. I sometimes go there._

 More about him. More about him.

 _I don't like losing. I don't like loud people._  

Atsushi dropped his pencil in frustration and grunted. That would have to be it for hobbies, likes and dislikes. He had ambitions left, the thing he dreaded the most.

A knock on the door saved him from his work. He mumbled a "come in" and turned to see who it was. His brother Susumu opened the door, to Atsushi's surprise. Susumu rarely sought to talk to any of them.

\- Eh, what is it?~

Susumu came in and closed the door, eyeing the bed but choosing to stay standing. Atsushi slightly cocked his head to the side, confused. 

\- Atsushi. Are you lying?

Now, Atsushi didn't know what to expect, but that certainly wasn't it. His brother had settled his intense gaze on him, forcing Atsushi to look away. He decided to doodle the corner of his assignment sheet to hide his discomfort.

\- Ah?~ About what?~

\- About practice.

Dead on. Atsushi felt his heart skip a beat. How? Since when? Should he push the lie?

\- I didn't feel like going today~, he replied after a long pause. Susumu frowned.

\- That's not the first time.

Atsushi could feel his composure deconstructing.

\- So what?, he said, losing his playful tone. I do what I want. You go to work and I skip practice. We're even.

He sounded more aggressive than he intended, but he was cornered, and the last thing he wanted was for Susumu to tell on him. His brother wasn't the type, but he had to make sure. Susumu stepped closer.

\- That's not it. Why don't you go?

\- I don't like basketball. You should know that.~

\- You didn't skip before. Something changed.

 _I don't want to think about it. Leave me alone._ He started scribbling again, pressing the pen harder on the paper.

\- I'm too good, if I practice the others can't keep up.~ The coach said so.~

\- Does it make you happy?

It was impossible to tell if his brother was buying any of what he was saying. Atsushi still refused to look at him, knowing it would immediately give him away. He wanted Susumu to get out, but the annoying questions wouldn't stop.

\- I don't like basketball, Atsushi repeated.

\- Atsushi...

\- You're annoying. I was working.

Susumu glanced at the paper. It had dark lines all over it and even a few holes from where Atsushi had pressed too hard. Neither of them liked talking all that much. This conversation was exhausting for the both of them.

\- I don't want to bother you. Do what makes you happy.

Atsushi simply nodded. The conversation was over. He won. Susumu left the room.

\- Get better, he said quietly, closing the door behind him.

If anything, that was the comment that upset Atsushi the most. He was doing okay already, he didn't need everyone looking at him so weirdly, worrying about him. He was doing just fine. Everything was normal. He looked at the ruined assignment, and not being able to look at it any longer, he turned it over and got out of his desk sit. Whatever. He could finish it later. He was suddenly very, very tired, even if it wasn't even 9 yet. He quickly got changed, skipped brushing his teeth, turned off the lights and curled in his bed. Susumu was wrong. Nothing changed. He just needed to sleep and be left alone and everything was going to be fine. He didn't need his pity, or anyone's pity. _I'm okay_.

He repeated the words mentally until he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to point out I wrote this all at once from 8:30 in the morning to 1pm. I didn't re-read it and probably won't. I'm just happy that after months of absolutely nothing I suddenly had the energy to write again.


End file.
